church dreams + reality.

if you’re a church kid, aka your parent(s) had you in church every week (and sometimes midweek!) for service, after so long you start to realize there is a language or culture that comes with being a kid consistently a part of a youth group. You start getting used to hearing certain phrases talked about,…

don’t awaken love.

post warning: she’s sappy rn, enjoy. One of the weirdest, most beautiful books in the bible (in my opinion) is Song of Solomon, aka the love book. If you don’t know, Song of Solomon is a book of poetry written between a man and woman. The songs celebrate the joy and goodness of human love…

I was ghosted by my best friend.

The Vulnerability Series: reading one. “Oh hey, how is ______ doing? You haven’t mentioned anything in a while, I was just wondering? ” honestly– we haven’t talked since about january/february.. i don’t know what happend but I can’t sweat it right now if people don’t want to be my friend there is nothing I can…

So there’s this boy,

sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a guy at there who looks at me like im an apple cinnamon thingy. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a guy who smiles and gets butterflies when my name pops up on his phone Sometimes I wonder if there’s a guy who looks at me and thinks…

animal crossing + anxiety

I deleted all my friends on Animal Crossing because of my anxiety. what, how, who, what?  yes this is real life. I bought a switch because so many of my friends played, and I was thrilled once I got going and finally named my Island for a second time.. because Sunflower was just to girly,…

not an influencer.

there are few things in this world that truly make my heart feel disgusting. Some things have been things I’ve carried or adapted since I was a child, other things just give me a bad taste over time. Over the last few weeks i’ve seen the term “Christian Influencer” being thrown out countless times, numerous…

don’t bend, don’t break

Journal Entry:  February 23,2019 Dear God, This isn’t me. I am not the girl who is with multiple guys, or that leaves the party pretending she got laid.. But I was. I remember this moment being one of my most shameful, it made me feel slutty. I had matched with a cute guy on tinder,…

the truth about where i am at.

honesty. vulnerability. hope. It has been quite a few months since my last blog post. I’ve been silently observing, silently hurting, silently processing. In short, the last few months, have been anything but pleasant. I am not sure how to even word, or communicate this, but i finally, certainly, want to try. In 2019 @instagramforbelievers…

I hope you fall in love.

This spring/summer, I unexpectedly fell in love. To my suprise, I fell in love with someone I never thought I could/would; But the reality is I did, I have. I went through a pretty nasty and public break up January 2019, so trust me when I say this was NOT apart of the plan. But…

there’s healing friend.

I’m a 50/50 type person. Things can be bad, but they could also be good. I like to think i have a well balanced way of life. There was a time in my life that I thought, “Im never going to get over this.” Honestly, Im the type of person to just cry over everything,…