animal crossing + anxiety

I deleted all my friends on Animal Crossing because of my anxiety.

what, how, who, what? 

yes this is real life. I bought a switch because so many of my friends played, and I was thrilled once I got going and finally named my Island for a second time.. because Sunflower was just to girly, and now its the Empire bc hello Gossip Girl and Chuck Bass, Loml. So anyways. If you don’t have a switch, basically, whenever anyone on your friends list is online, a cute little image and their name pops up and shows ‘online now’.  I had a season in my life where I was feeling really left out and isolated, and one thing that would honestly make me cry, was when I would see friends online who hadn’t texted me back in hours, some even days. I’m very big on quality time, so things like being on the phone and having texting conversations, mean a lot to me in the LITTLEST of ways. So when I would see friends online, and not talking to me, my immediate thought was “how do you have time to be on Animal Crossing, playing, but can’t text me back??” okay wEirD fLex dude.” 

And honestly, I would just sit in bed and cry because of it. I allowed my anxiety to think my friends weren’t REALLY my friends. These people clearly didn’t love me enough or care about me because I couldn’t even get a text back. When anxiety is at an alltime high for me, I do drastic things, stupid things– and so I did it, I deleted every last friend off my friends list to avoid the hurt i felt seeing “online now” and checking my phone as I waited for a text back.

This happened months ago, and truthfully I don’t think any of my friends noticed.

I focused on building my island and doing what I do best, be alone.

But as I have had time alone, I can look back and truly say this probably wasn’t the BEST of my decisions. Truthfully, I think about adding everyone back (and I will eventually bc i need people to send me DIYs) But part of me is afraid that my anxiety cant handle more rejection.

But this is not a healthy way to live life.

a few (months) lololol ago, i had made a q&a box for people to leave tips to help with their anxiety!

I started having heavy anxiety/depression about 3 years ago after a traumatic car accident, and its been on and off as far as me dealing with it.

I journaled all the submissions I got, and gave some trial and error and wanted to share the results!

Now FOR ME, not saying this is for everyone, but FOR ME personally, outside of going to the Father himself, music & journaling have been a safe haven for me somewhat controlling my anxiety.

here are the others people suggested.

1. Jesus, always going to Jesus & praying about your feelings
2. Worship ; spending time worshiping our creator
3. Focus on the things you can control
4. Music
5. writing / journaling your feelings
6. Talking about your feelings with a trusted friend/council
7. Read a book (recommended live fearless- Sadie Rob)
8. Create a box/jar labeled “Gods Hands” and the things you can’t control, write it down and place it in the box (surrender)
9. Drawing/Painting
10. A Jar of Affirmations about yourself
11. Be less responsive/short when in moments of anxiety
12. Distract yourself with something outside of what your anxiety is about
13. Reset your surroundings (go outside, take a drive etc)

I’ve had a few months to process all of these, and truthfully– what works for me MAY NOT WORK FOR YOU, and that’s okay.  My best ones have been  Praying, Writing & Journaling, and listening to Music (preferably worship for me) that have been 90% immediately effective when it comes to anxiety.

Anxiety has been challenging, and difficult.  I have been less vocal about it as I have been trying to process and deal. These last few months being proud of my Animal Crossing Island, has made me bittersweet in realizing I haven’t been able to share it with my friends, the people I love most, and that is more than enough of a reason for me, to get control again.

I don’t have all the answers, I don’t have it together, but thank God i serve a God who does. A God who lets me process and heal, who just wants me to be the best that HE has created me to be.

I hope these very few tips are enough for some of you guys to start processing and praying for healing and clarity when it comes to anxiety, life is too short to be controlled by anxiety.

Philippians 4:6-7
 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

all my love,

-M.